Sharing a home with others can be great fun, but there will always be moments of tension of disagreement. One of the biggest causes of conflict is when the original terms of your shared house agreement are breached, and your housemate letting their partner stay over nearly all the time is a major example of this. Even if you like your housemate’s partner, you didn’t sign up to share with an extra person – and there are also big questions when it comes to splitting bills fairly. If this is an issue you’re currently facing, check out this advice on how to move forwards productively.
Check In With Your Other Housemates
Take an opportunity to share how you’re feeling with your other housemates and see if they are feeling the same. While you don’t want to gang up on your housemate, it might be worth establishing that your opinion is shared before you strike up an awkward conversation.
Raise It With Your Housemate
You will need to have a conversation with the housemate who has moved their partner in, but how you do this is up to you. It might be worth starting off one to one, so they don’t feel as defensive. Phrase your words carefully, so as not to sound like you’re blaming them – you could say something like, ‘I really like your partner, but I miss the times when we would hang out together as housemates.’ This can be used to open up a broader conversation about the amount of time their partner is spending at yours.
Set Some Ground Rules
Once you’ve broached the subject with your housemate, it’s time to start a whole house conversation about the ground rules regarding guests. Make sure this isn’t aimed at any one person—keep the language you use broad, but make sure there is a consensus about how long guests and partners can stay for.
